The late hour lays down it’s leaves of night shade along the cool blades of grass just beyond my window view. The thunder crackles angry in the sky, demanding answers from the earth. I listen as the twilight makes way for the deep of the night rocked to silence by Heaven’s one sided kind of conversation. Here, but gone. I find myself in a dark place. I have been here before, but also have never been. I still know what to do. Sleep runs away with the white rabbit, and I am left alone in some burdened underbelly of Wonderland. A life stained in blue hues and spreading. I feel it coming up from the inside, full of angst and deep within my lungs. My breath is heavy with not knowing, and my stomach sick with trying to understand. I cannot afford to fix the hole in my chest, the weak heartbeat, the brittle bones. I could crumble right now if it helped. I could be whisked away on the winds, but I’m still trying to convince myself that hope is still a commodity I have stashed somewhere.
I can feel the pressure behind my eyes and inside me head, until it can do nothing but crawl along skin. Smiling leaves me feeling just shy of foolish, knowing that so much of me has been left somewhere far, far, away.